The Messy Middle: Where Healing Actually Happens

(Spoiler alert: it’s not cute, but it’s honest—and that’s where the magic is.)

There’s a part of the healing journey that no one puts on Pinterest.
It’s not the fresh-start beginning, all hopeful energy and maybe a new journal.
It’s not the triumphant after-story, with sunrises, strong boundaries, and a revived sense of purpose.

It’s the part in between—the part I call the messy middle.

The messy middle is where you know you can’t go back…
…but you’re not exactly sure how to move forward.
You’re no longer completely shattered, but not yet steady.
You’re functioning, but let’s be honest—some days, barely.

And if you’re here right now?
Welcome.
You’re not lost.
You’re just in the middle.

💬 What the Messy Middle Really Looks Like

Let me paint the picture (and if this feels like your life, please know: same):

• Your sock drawer is organized but your soul feels scattered.

• One minute you’re feeling hopeful… the next, you're crying in the grocery store aisle over a bag of granola.

• You’re not who you were before the loss or transition…
  …but you're still figuring out who you’re becoming.

• You vacillate between deep self-awareness and watching hours of HGTV to avoid it all.

The messy middle is not glamorous. But it’s wildly important. Because it’s where the real transformation happens.

🧭 Coaching Tip #1: Stop Waiting to “Feel Ready”

One of the sneakiest lies we tell ourselves in the messy middle is this:
“I’ll move forward when I feel ready.”

But here’s the truth—you won’t suddenly wake up ready.
You’ll likely still feel uncertain, a little foggy, a little off-balance.
And that’s okay. Start anyway.
Healing isn’t about being ready—it’s about being willing.

Willing to take one small step.
Willing to rest when you need to.
Willing to be curious about what’s next… even if you’re not sure what that is.

🧹 Coaching Tip #2: Don’t Clean Up the Chaos Too Fast

The messy middle can make us uncomfortable, so our instinct is to “fix it” fast.
Declutter all the things. Start a new routine. Take on a project. Rebrand your entire personality. (Sound familiar?)

But sometimes, that impulse to tidy up is just a distraction from what needs to be felt.

Instead of rushing to clean up, try asking:

• What am I avoiding right now?

• What part of me is asking for attention—not improvement, but compassion?

• Can I let this be messy for a little longer?

The middle is where your emotions need breathing room. Give them space.

📦 Coaching Tip #3: Expect Progress and Regression—At the Same Time

Healing is not a staircase.
It’s a winding, twisty, tripping-over-your-own-sandals sort of path.
One day you’ll feel like you’ve made progress. The next? You’ll be Googling, “How to rebuild your life from scratch.”

That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re doing it honestly.

Progress in the messy middle looks like:

• Saying no without explaining yourself

• Taking a nap instead of powering through

• Allowing joy to return, without guilt

• Admitting you don’t have all the answers

• Laughing, crying, and forgetting what you were doing—all before noon

You're not backsliding. You're becoming. It's just... not linear.

💙 A Gentle Reminder from the Middle

If you’re in the thick of it—still healing, still searching, still getting your footing—please know this:

✨ There’s nothing wrong with you.
✨ You are not late.
✨ You are not broken.

You are in the beautiful, brutal, in-process stage of becoming.
You are shedding old skins, building new muscles, and practicing what it means to carry your story with both grace and grit.

And if you feel a little wobbly? That’s because you’re growing.
You’re not stuck—you’re stabilizing.

🤝 Need a Hand in the Messy Middle?

This is the space where I meet so many of my clients—not at the beginning, not at the end, but right in the thick of it. If that’s you, I want to invite you into a conversation.

Let’s talk. No pressure, no perfect plan. Just a real connection and some clarity on what might help you breathe easier as you move forward.

📅 Book your free 45-minute Breakthrough Session here:
👉 https://inperspectivelifecoaching.click/breakthroughbooking

You're not a mess. You're mid-transformation. 🦋
And trust me—this is where the magic starts to happen. 💙