You’re Not Lazy—You’re Grieving

Why you’re not broken if you need a nap more than a new routine.

I once had a client tell me, “Christine, I feel like a shadow of myself. I can’t even clean out the pantry without needing a nap and a support group.”

She laughed when she said it—but there was a pause after the laugh. A moment of truth.

She wasn’t lazy. She wasn’t unmotivated.
She was grieving.

And grief?
Grief doesn’t just cry on cue and leave quietly.
Grief sneaks in and sets up shop in your body.

It clutters your mind when you’re trying to remember why you walked into the room.
It tugs on your energy when you’re finally alone and thought you'd "get so much done."
It steals your words mid-sentence and hands you guilt in return.

Let’s be honest: It’s not just emotional. It’s physiological.

When you’ve been in survival mode—caretaking, losing someone you love, managing betrayals, or simply holding it all together like a human duct tape dispenser—your nervous system learns to live on alert. And staying on alert 24/7? That’s a full-time job.

Midlife women especially tend to push through it. We “power on,” even if the internal battery is flashing red. And when we finally pause, we expect ourselves to bounce back with the same energy we had at 28.

But your body isn’t behind.
It’s responding. It’s protecting.
That fog, fatigue, and freeze response?
Not laziness. Not weakness.
Just very good biology doing its job a little too well.

So what’s the answer?

It’s not more hustle.
It’s not a 5 AM miracle morning with turmeric shots and cold plunges. (Unless that sparks joy. In which case, carry on.)

The answer is permission.
Permission to rest without guilt.
Permission to pause and not produce.
Permission to stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and start whispering, “What do I need right now?”

And maybe—just maybe—permission to eat toast for dinner and call it nourishment.

If this is where you are…

…you are not broken.
You are healing.
And healing looks a lot less like a checklist and a lot more like grace.

Inside the Midlife Surprise Society, we talk about this—openly, honestly, and without judgment. We share stories, name what hurts, and make space for the quiet parts of recovery.

Because you’re not lazy. You’re just finally safe enough to rest.

And that, dear friend, is progress.

I invite you to take a quiet moment to reflect. So, grab that journal or a cup of tea and consider for youself--

• When was the last time you gave yourself permission to rest without guilt?

• What did it feel like in your body, in your mind, in your spirit?

• What might it look like to give yourself that kind of permission more often?

You don’t have to do it alone. We’re in this healing season together.