The Sacred In-Between: Embracing Life After Loss and Transition

I used to think that healing meant I’d know exactly what came next.

That once the tears dried or the decisions were made, clarity would arrive like a sunrise—warm, bright, and undeniable.

Instead, it felt more like being dumped into a foggy cornfield with no GPS, no snacks, and questionable Wi-Fi.

But what I’ve come to learn—through personal heartbreak, identity shifts, and those quietly desperate days of wondering “what now?”—is that healing often lives in the in-between. The space between who you were and who you’re becoming. Between the goodbye and the new beginning. Between grief and growth.

And it’s in this in-between that most of us feel the most lost… and oddly, the most pressured to get our act together.

Why the In-Between Feels So Uncomfortable

Let’s name it: the in-between is awkward. It’s the emotional equivalent of wearing jeans fresh out of the dryer—tight, unforgiving, and not quite right.

Our culture loves a good “before and after” story. But nobody wants to talk about the part where you're lying on the bathroom floor sobbing with dry shampoo in your hair wondering if it's too late to become a forest witch.

When you’re untethered from your old life but not yet grounded in a new one, it can feel like failure. Or like you’re doing grief wrong. Or like you should at least be doing something productive, like becoming a certified yoga goat instructor.🤷🏼‍♀️

But that quiet space you’re tempted to skip?

That’s where the soul does its most important work.

What Makes the In-Between So Sacred

The in-between is where you start hearing your own voice again (not just the one reminding you to pick up oat milk).

It’s where grief softens, truths bubble up, and self-trust begins to rebuild—slowly, stubbornly, like your Wi-Fi after a storm.

It’s the moment the caterpillar melts into mush inside the cocoon. Not exactly glamorous, but wildly necessary.

This space, as disorienting as it is, is also where you can slow down, listen deeply, and begin to feel instead of fix. You get to shed old expectations, grieve your former self, and—gently, courageously—start imagining a new way of being.

What to Do When You’re in the In-Between

If you’re in the midst of that sacred pause right now, here are a few invitations—not prescriptions—for moving through it with grace (and maybe a little stubborn sass):

1. Let it be enough to just be
   You don’t need to start a business, write a memoir, or rearrange your pantry by color. It is enough to simply exist in the space between what was and what’s next. (Bonus points for wearing stretchy pants.)

2. Name what you’ve released
   Whether it’s a role, a relationship, an old version of yourself, or your tolerance for BS—take time to name it. Honor it. Grieve it. Cry if you must. Rage if you must. Then light a candle..(rituals are an important part of life transitions.)

3. Resist the urge to rush
   We often mistake movement for healing. But sometimes stillness is the bravest (and most infuriating) thing you can do. Give yourself permission to pause—yes, even if it means skipping brunch with the girls to cry in your car because "the song" came on the radio just as you were shutting off the engine.

4. Listen for your inner whispers
   That quiet curiosity about something new. That flicker of joy. That strange urge to try pottery or move to Portugal. These are the breadcrumbs that begin to weave your next chapter. Follow them with curiosity, not pressure.

You’re Not Behind. You’re Becoming.

I want to gently remind you: there is nothing wrong with you if you’re in a season where the path isn’t clear.

You’re not failing at healing.
You’re not stuck forever.
You’re not broken.

You’re becoming.

And just because the in-between isn’t loud or visible doesn’t mean it isn’t holy work.

So take a deep breath. Pour a cup of tea (or wine—we don’t judge here). And remember: you’re allowed to not have it all figured out. You’re allowed to be exactly where you are.

And in case no one’s told you lately—you’re doing better than you think.

With heart (and stretchy pants),
Christine
Founder, The Midlife Surprise Society
Helping midlife women rediscover themselves after loss—without rushing their grief or losing their truth.